Dear Andy Cohen: 3 Reasons Why I Should Totally Tend Bar On WWHL

The cover Of Andy's latest book. Got my copy yesterday and started it today.

The cover Of Andy's latest book. Got my copy yesterday and started it today.

Earlier this year, while planning the launch of this blog/website, I was having coffee with a friend when we suddenly realized that we might know someone who's actually pretty friendly with Andy Cohen, NY Times bestselling author and Bravo TV personality/producer extraordinaire. (In case you're wondering, the someone we know is most definitely NOT Sarah Jessica Parker or SJP, who has been known to hang out with Andy on occasion.) 

Forget all those bloggers who bill themselves as francophiles. That's kind of played out now. (And who knew there were so many others on social media pushing striped t-shirts and peppering their updates with French words? Certainly not me. I thought I was so original dammit.) I'd say I'm much more of a Bravo-phile now, especially if that'll get me on there to meet Andy. #Wink

"Do you think she can get me on Watch What Happens Live as a bartender?" I asked my coffee buddy, excitedly.

In case you don't know, WWHL is Andy's uber popular late night chat fest on Bravo, Sun-Thurs 11/10c. It features Andy with 1-2 guests, a studio audience of sorts, alcohol, and a 'bartender' - usually someone with something to promote and absolutely no mixology experience whatsoever. Many times that something being promoted is a new book, but what about PattyJ.com?!?! I could promote that!

As you may have already surmised at this point, the WWHL bar tending gig has not happened. Yet. But hey, I'm an optimist. Eternally. That's why I've decided to post this plea to Andy with a list of the reasons why he should invite me to NYC to tend the WWHL bar on an upcoming episode.

1. We both have rescue dogs. 

Wacha  (Andy's dog, seen many nights on WWHL and on the cover of his new book) meet Sparky (my dog, seen many nights sleeping on newspaper on my living room floor). 

Wacha  (Andy's dog, seen many nights on WWHL and on the cover of his new book) meet Sparky (my dog, seen many nights sleeping on newspaper on my living room floor). 

Hate to have to play the rescue dog card, but don't think Spark really minds.

2. We're both fans of Andy Warhol, The Warhol Diaries and name dropping. (FYI: Andy Cohen mentions his fondness for all of these in the Intro to the new book.) Ask anyone in RI who knows me, they'll tell you I'm one of the biggest name droppers EVER! I mean my brother and his friends once had coffee with Bill Murray, my friend Charles' current book was inspired by Cybil Shepard, and when I was in NYC recently, I spotted both Chris Matthews of MSNBC (near the Plaza) and Wendy Malick of TV Land's Hot In Cleveland (in the lobby of my hotel). Coincidentally, she was in town because she was appearing on Watch What Happens Live. 

3. Alcohol is fine, but coffee is sublime. I'll not only pay my own travel expenses to NYC (Hello, PattyJ.com business credit card!), but I'll also buy you the best cappuccino in the city at one of my fav places (and a fav of Lenny Kravitz's too apparently- at least according to a recent Sunday NY Post), Sant Ambroeus.

Think about Andy, think about it.

PS - I'm freakin' funny.