I've seen my share of holiday party related disasters over the years. That's for damn sure. With most of them revolving around too many cocktails, which then results in at least one person (usually a lot more tho) doing something pretty stupid. One of my friends confirmed as much when I asked her for an anecdote about the worst thing that ever happened to her at a Christmas party. She wasn't much help (I need specifics!), but I found a few other people who were. With that in mind then, here are eight of the most annoying, cringe-worthy, frustrating, and otherwise unfortunate things that I hope don't happen to you this year (but that, for the record, can be hilarious when they're happening to someone else).
1. Every woman there looks like they hired a glam squad to get ready. You decided to do your own hair and make. Making you feel like Jennifer, the dumpy looking candle vlogger, among the bitchy-but-alluring Chanels on an episode of Scream Queens. Never. Again.
2. You convinced yourself you could walk in those 4 1/2 inch heels. And that they looked kick*ss with a shorter skirt. But didn't factor in bending over to pick up your purse and those gift bags. Several times. Translation: I see London, I see France, Everyone sees your underpants. (Make sure you're wearing something pretty and not your granny period panties. Just in case.)
3. You spend way too much time hanging out with your 'work' husband or wife, causing some friction with your real life husband or wife. (This may result in you running out ASAP and buying an expensive guilt gift for him or her. Think motorcycles for him or diamonds for her.)
4. That annoying person who is forever taking selfies and uploading them to FB (without filtering or even asking for your ok) posts a group shot where you look the worst and when you mention this, no one bothers to correct you. Translation: You actually do look as hideous as you think.
5. The gift from your Secret Santa is something 'they' obviously picked up at the drug store on the way. Like the PedEgg, the Suzanne Somers 3 Way Poncho or the Chia Pet Gnome. Meanwhile you spent weeks brainstorming and searching for something for the gift exchange.
6. Trapped next to that one woman who mistakenly thinks because you're smiling and nodding at what she's saying you really want to look at an endless stream of I-Phone photos and video of her grandkids. Uh, no. The rule is one and done lady!
7. Someone trips and spills an entire drink on the dress you borrowed, from your friend, sister, cousin or Rent The Runway, just for the occasion. Perfect. Hopefully you have a good dry cleaner 'cause you're going to need them. Desperately.
8. When the boyfriend, or the hubs, who never has a cocktail decides to have many and sing karaoke. Spoiler Alert: It doesn't end well.
Ciao For Now,