Cheesy pick-up lines? We've all been a victim. And heck yeah, you could go on Twitter or Tumblr and read whole blogs devoted to them, but why do that when you can get the best of the worst ones from two real live RI 20-somethings?
Enter Nicole and Cara...Recently, I asked around, looking for the most current - and most horrible - lines that guys are trying to float in bars these days, between drinks and clinks or maybe over tater tots (Stay tuned for more about those tots in a minute!). Here's their list:
- You have a beautiful smile. (They both definitely do, but that doesn't mean they're talking to you buddy.)
- Hey, your screen is cracked! (Does this really work?)
- What's your status? (Hmmm...a WTF moment for sure.)
- I'm a state trooper/police officer/cop. (Who knew? Seriously.)
- You look like Pocahontas. (Nicole kind of does.)
***For the record, my niece Brianna had nothing to contribute because she says 'she doesn't pay attention to annoying idiots or jerks'. (If you know her, you're smiling right now.)
Now, nothing like that happened while Ashley and I were hanging out at Ogie's Trailer Park the other night. I mean there is an amazing bar (See pix below.), with a pretty impressive selection of liquor and a tv above it all playing an old episode of Mad Men (Ashley's a fan.). But the place is definitely more bar-ish (I just made that up. #SoProudOfMyself) and family friendly than anything else. In fact, when we arrived, there was a woman with a baby, waiting for her friends to arrive.
We were also lucky enough to meet Crystal, a bartender who didn't hassle Ashley for taking pics (still waiting for us to get thrown out somewhere for that) and gave us the 401 on how and where to order food, the drink menus, etc. (Yeah, it's taken me 'like' six months to finally make it over to Ogie's since they first opened. #MyBad.) The key thing to know is you order your drinks at the retro cool bar and your food over at the kitschy kool 'trailer window' kitchen off to the side. "They" then give you a number, in the form of an out of state license plate (Insert joke about low numbered or personalized lic plates here my RI friends.), and once your order's ready, they call out, over a speaker, the name of the state on your plate.
We ordered some tater tots, plain because I'm a purist (or boring...take your pick), but you can get yours in at least four different flavors. Along with some veggie chill for me. You can get a burger or a grilled cheese if that's more what you're in the mood for.
As if the interior wasn't awesome enough for us (Ashley and I were ooh'ing and aah'ing over everything from the vintage looking light fixtures and furniture to the cat themed pop art on the walls like a couple of tourists...FYI: Same owners here as The Duck & Bunny over on Wickenden where you'll find more of a tea room vibe, art with rabbit motifs, cupcakes, brunch, etc...I'm a fan of just about everything at D&B actually.) there's an outdoor concrete 'patio' with more old time-y trailers, picnic tables, strings of lights, and a Tiki Bar. You could say they've taken the level of kitsch out back to 11. You could also say that the Tiki Bar drink menu is wildly popular this summer, not at all shocking btw. But for the record, and for
your next trip to Ogie's, their most popular drink to date happens to be The Moscow Mule, a blend of vodka, ginger beer and fresh lime juice. Just remember when you go get yours, be sure to tell 'em #PattyJDotCom sent you.
Ciao For Now,
Photo Credits: All photos , except selfies of Nicole and Cara, courtesy of Ashley Farney.