High Heels And Other Lies People Tell About NYC

Traveling to NYC any time soon? Here are three tips to help you look less tourist-y and have more fun - because why go to the trouble of packing a bag and driving 4 hours to have a lousy time? And hate to break it to you, but everything you think you know about the city is probably wrong because you learned it from watching tv and movies or stalking those style stars on Instagram, who btw are using mad filters and layers of makeup anyway, so don't hate yourself too much for feeling like you don't measure up. 

1. No One Wears Heels. Really. Forget what you've seen on tv or in the movies (I'm talking to you Sarah Jessica Parker!) or on what's her name's IG. No one's wearing heels on the streets. Uptown or downtown. No one. Every woman I saw was in flip flops (So much for Tom Ford's anti-flip-flops in the city stance.), strappy FLAT sandals, or even, gasp, sneakers. So, do yourself a favor and stash those heels in your bag. Maybe change into them later - if you end up at a party or bar full of model-y types or a restaurant packed with what at first glance looks like fathers taking their daughters (or granddaughters) out to dinner, but is really rich old white hairs (or baldies) with their younger gf's or mistresses, and need to look a little more glam ASAP.

2. Be Prepared - You Could See Some Meat In The Meat Packing District. The other night, my niece went out with a bunch of her 20-something friends who have all relocated to NYC after college. They ended up in the Meat Packing District, where by day you'll find fancy schmancy stores like Stella McCartney and Jeffrey (famously parodied on SNL by Will Ferrell a few years back) and by night, you'll find a hopping bar scene. But it's not all designer clothes, Bombay Sapphire, and selfies  because while there, 'they' spied a pant-less guy standing on a street corner, yelling and yes, jerking off. Lesson here? Travel in packs at night (Safety in numbers bitches!) or at least wear those flats we already talked about, so you can book it down the street to get away from any jerk-offs. (Pepper spray can be had at most RI area Army Navy stores. Just. Sayin.)

3. Uber Is Everything. If you haven't already done it, add the Uber app to your phone. We used Uber 2 or 3 times more than taxis (Sorry/not sorry taxi co's.) and were pretty pleased with ourselves. (Most of the time it was the same price or cheaper than a cab.) If you're like my sister though and can't remember your Apple ID, an essential piece of info when "buying" even FREE Apps from the App Store, have one of your daughters or a 20 or 30 something friend with beaucoup patience help you out. 


Ciao For Now,

Patty J


Photo Credits: All photos courtesy of the PattyJDotCom Instagram