What You Need To Know When You're Pushing 30


Birthday’s in my twenties: party buses, hotel rooms, bars, clubs, a surprise party, girls trip to Puerto Rico, and the list goes on.

This year was much different - very “adult like”. My 29th birthday consisted of going to lunch, and visiting my Grandma.

I love her, she’s great, and she lives the life in Florida but likeee…WOW, reality check. Am I that old and boring?

As my OCD started to kick in 15 minutes into the first day of sunbathing, I started to think. I am in the late, V LATE twenties. Well, then I thought, shit, that is scary. Then my mind wandered further, and I was like, oh shit again! I am turning 30 next year… HOLY SHIT, I COULD BE PREGNANT NEXT YEAR. #ScaryAF

Aging, wrinkles, gravity, sunburns. When did I have to worry about this?

Can someone please tell me where all this time went?

Words of advice I have learned from:

1) Always wear sunglasses to avoid squinting. Wrinkles, and/or crow’s feet are not cute.

2) This is silly that I even have to add this in here, but people seem to forget: A sunburn is NOT cool. SPF should be your bestie, and don’t forget to reapply every hour, especially on your face. Also, NO SAGGY KNEES!! (Thanks Morgan Stewart.)

3) Gravity starts to pull everything. The bathing suit you wore 10 years ago may not be as flattering as it was.

4) When it comes to clothes, it’s quality over quantity. No more buying your entire wardrobe at H&M and Forever 21. Spend the money on one good quality pair of jeans to make that booty look good. Favorite Brand: Citizens of Humanity. Looking for a bargain? Macy’s flagship store in NYC during Friends and Family – 20% off!

5) Less is more when it’s comes to makeup. Take it easy on the war paint. It’s a turn off.

An Anonymous Almost 30-Something