The Truth About Men And More Twentysomething Wisdom
This past year, after walking out on my job (#ByeFelicia), I went out and got myself a life. Once I got out into the world, tho, I saw just how much I'd been doing wrong. True story. You're probably doing things wrong too - You just don't know it...Yet. Who's gonna help you? Twenty-somethings, that's who. They have the answers to some of your most pressing problems. They really do! That's what I've come to realize over these last 12 months.
So, read on and find out the top 5 things you're doing wrong and how to fix them, twenty something style:
1. You're Wearing Uggs For The Crummy Weather - You Should Be Wearing Sorels.
Uggs have become a huge part of almost every women's winter wardrobe. Problem: They may be warm, but they're not waterproof. When they get wet, your toes feel like they're going to fall off. Sorels are warm, waterproof and the ultimate in stylish footwear for the cold. Save your Uggs for wearing with your pjs around the house (That's how I roll.) and order yourself some Sorels. Before they sell out for Christmas.
I promise you they're selling out as I type this.
2. You're Wearing Jeans For Casual - You Should Be Wearing Leggings.
I was hanging out with a bunch of people recently and was the only one in the group wearing jeans. Did I mention everyone else was under 30?
Trade your jeans in for some leggings. ASAP.
3. Never ever ever let yourself go. Keep your nails, hair and body impeccable and top shelf. As long as you can. Because #MenAreVisualWhores.
Any man who tells you he's not eyeing hot girls - either online or in real life - is totally lying.
4. You're Drinking Pinot Grigio or Cosmos - You Should Be Drinking Titos with Fresh Squeezed Lemons.
Nothing says blaaaaah or 1990's and early 2000's like ordering a Pinot or a Cosmo. Like, Yawn. I've been there. But there's hope. For me and you. Just order the Titos.
Wait, there's more...Kate Moss' go-to drink used to be vodka. Allegedly. Also, a friend's DR recently recommend that if she's going to go out and drink booze, she should drink vodka with lemon because it's the least fattening option at the bar. In other words, you can booze it up with this and not end up a fat *ss.
5. Get yourself a pushup bra. Perk them biatches up. ASAP.
Try a push-up from Natori. It'll give you a boost and look seductive enough for the visual whore (aka, man) in your life.
Also, start adding the word biatch to random sentences and social media posts. 20-somethings, along with anyone else who's having a really bad day, will think it's hilarious.
Ciao for Now,
The PattyJ Team
Photo Credits: Images courtesy of Google