Dazed & Confused: True Confessions of a 26 Year Old

Who actually wants to sit and admit that they're dazed & confused at 26 years old?

Yes, 26 may seem young, but as a someone with hopes and dreams, it’s stressful.

Most girls go their entire lives dreaming and looking for “the one” - 
How do you know who “the one” is? Is it someone you've been friends with for years? How do you know when to walk away from the person you thought was “the one”? How many second chances do you give someone? When do you just call it quits and stop the madness? Am I just overreacting? Is what he did really that bad? Or maybe I was just PMS-ing?

So many people have said, “Listen to your heart”  - Guess what, MY HEART DOESN’T F’N TALK & I AM F’N CONFUSED!!

I want to get married. I want babies! And guess what else? I want all of this NOW (I like instant gratification). Sometimes people tell me – "Oh, you have your entire life to get married and have babies, travel while you are young", but that is so unrealistic. I don’t want to be an old mom, I want to be able to travel and do whatever I want with “the one” before I have to take f’n blood pressure medication and sit in a chair all day!

Just curious - what's going to make YOU happy in your life? Maybe for you it's that vacation, which eventually will be just the memory of a vacation you took and probably don't remember that well because you were sh*t-faced the entire time. Or, is it figuring out your life, settling down and having all of that while you travel the world?

Why do people put provisional happiness ahead of perpetual happiness? 

Most of us - in the millennial generation - are just kick-starting our careers and are buried in college debt, or taking on more debt to go to grad school. Hence, I believe the ideal age to travel and live our lives will be our late 40’s, another reason why I'm now having a quarter life crisis, which is totally getting the best of me.

(I get that this can be somewhat confusing and some of you may be thinking, "well if someone don't feel financially stable enough to travel, or if someone has a lot of student debt, they probably should wait to get their life started." -- My answer to you is: #1. My definition of traveling is most definitely different than yours. #2. Is anyone ever really ready or financially stable enough to start a family or a new phase of their life?)

So, do you see how stressful this all is? This small window of time has arrived so quickly & now it’s, like, SH*T I need to have everything figured out by yesterday.

You might be wondering when my quarter life crisis began...Well, basically, one day (obviously when I was 25) I just woke up & thought holy sh*t, is this what I want to deal with for THE REST OF MY LIFE? (Looking at my own relationship, along with people I surrounded myself with) Is this ACTUALLY going to be my life? Is he EVER going to change? Is he only saying what I want to hear, because I currently have the upper hand…???

As I said before, this small window of my life is here - I don't want to prolong my dreams or waste time with something that will never be what I need it to be. I'm not sure about you, but I find the saying, "whats meant to be, will be" extremely frightening. 

Is there really a perfect guy out there for me? Is he that perfect guy? If yea, then am I the problem?

Not sure if you read The Trouble With Men blog recently but this 65 year old D.B. who was trying to pick me up actually had the balls to say – “Oh you are too picky, you are going to be single for a while, MAYBE you will get married in your 40’s…" K...f you grandpa!

It’s sad that it’s frowned upon to have standards & want to be happy in life! Basically, people will call you a gold-digger because you have hopes and dreams that are higher than theirs. My advice, F THEM – don’t listen! Why wouldn’t I reach for the stars when I am this age? At least I can say I tried, and not have any what-ifs? Why would I EVER settle?


Is it all the Disney princess movies that have created this illusion in my head of what men are actually supposed to be like? Or, are all the good ones actually bad, and secretly on Ashley Madison? (No, I’m not hyper linking that.)

Disney, along with so many other media conglomerates, have put a lot of unrealistic images in our heads about men and what relationships are supposed to be. Yes, maybe in the 50’s the movie image of a man actually lined up with who they were in real life, but, sorry, in 2015, that’s not how it is.

Is it that hard to put the toilet seat down or open a door for me? Please, take your f’n hat off at the dinner table! DO NOT SPIT IN THE KITCHEN SINK!

Are the happy looking couples just pretending and do they really have underlying issues (that) they don’t want anyone else to see? Is there even such a thing as true happiness? Or do most marriages just suck?

A few years ago, I was at a wedding and made bathroom conversation with one of the bridesmaids. She looked at me and said - “Listen, you're a totally different person from when you’re in your early twenties to when you're in your late twenties." At that moment, I was extremely insulted – as in 'Shut up, I know exactly what I want, you don’t know me.'

But guess what - she was 100% correct & this is exactly why my quarter life crisis has made the past 1.5 years of my life a dazed, confused mess: Walk away, no stay, give him another chance, maybe he will change, f that, he is a jerk.

In your early twenties, you want someone fun – you don’t care about anything else.

In your late twenties, you want someone NICE, a gentleman, someone with a good work ethic and morals. You want someone who will be a good husband and father, a person who will support you and your family no matter what.

So, I ask again -

How do you know who “the one” is?

Is it someone you have been best friends with for years?

How do you know when to walk away from the person you thought was “the one”?

How many second chances do you give someone?

When do you just call it quits and stop the madness?

Is it someone you may have dismissed when you were younger and looking for the fun type of guy?

Are you meant to be married and have children or just a boss ass b*tch?

And what will YOUR life be like in 10 years - because everything you're doing now will determine that.




Photo Credits: Thumbnail photo of Brianna and Patty J by Ashley Farney. Two other photos courtesy of Brianna.