It's May and temps have been anything but mild. (It's been freezing cold dammit!) And then there's all the rain. (Gah!) With this in mind, you'll probably want - or need - to go out and enjoy a few cocktails either tonight or Thirsty Thursday, just to take the edge off. Before heading out to your fav bar or tavern to clink glasses and snap selfies tho, we have some words of wisdom from a bartender at a popular local spot, who for obvious reasons, wishes to remain anonymous. Here then are the 6 things 'they' want you to know before you go :
- Forget that Long Island Iced Tea! It's strictly for amateurs. If you're looking to get a little crazy, order a martini instead. It has more alcohol than any mixed drink, so it's (usually) one and done. Depending of course on your (alcohol) tolerance level.
- Your bartender doesn't set the prices. So please don't haggle with us because you don't want to pay $12 for a glass of wine. We're there to pour, smile, and collect on the bill, not negotiate.
- If you're trying to lose a few pounds, stick with vodka on the rocks with a side of lemon wedges. And that club soda you keep ordering because you think it's sooo healthy? It's loaded with sodium (and sometimes sugar too). And that sodium means one key thing - you will wake up looking and feeling bloated.
- Waving your hands wildly, and generally acting like an *ss, to get our attention is not to your benefit. We see you. We're busy with another customer and will get to you ASAP.
- We are not trying to "cheap shot" (or under pour) you. Why would we? It's in our best interest to keep your glass full because after all, everyone knows that happy customers are better tippers.
- To avoid a hangover...Sorry, if you're over the age of 25, it doesn't matter how much water you drink, you're going to have a hangover in the am.
Celebs Who Tended Bar Before They Hit It Big
Rhonda Rousey, Chris Pratt, Jon Hamm, Jon Stewart, Maria Bello, Dave Matthews, Bruce Willis (Anyone remember his album of blue-sy tunes called The Return Of Bruno!), Kris Kristofferson, Ellen DeGeneres, Mark Cuban, and Sandra Bullock
Photo Credits: Champagne photo above courtesy of Ashley Farney