RI Barista Confidential: Just Order The Coffee!

Latte Art 

It's no secret that unless I start my morning with at least one coffee, I click my heels together and turn into a major b**tch. (Caffeine withdrawal headaches will do that to you!) My actual order, however, is pretty simple - grande skinny latte - and I usually always leave some change in the tip jar, so I am far from a pain in the *ss customer. Or so I tell myself. That being said, recently I started interrogating a friend, who probably mixed up your morning coffee at some point (aka, worked at several extremely popular spots in RI) but is now permanently retired from the biz, to find out the most annoying things people do to po their barista - besides those crazy complicated orders or refraining from tipping. Here's what "they" had to say:

4. Unless you're Julian Schnabel or Hugh Hefner, both world famous for wearing silk pajamas everywhere, put on some pants - and shoes - before running out for that first, second or third coffee of the day. Save the ratty pj's (or sweatpants with PINK across the rear) and slippers for those days when you're stuck inside with your Keurig and Netflix. We don't wanna see it. (And don't forget the deodorant. We also don't wanna smell it!)

3. Once you get to the top of the line, stop texting, look up from your phone, and give us your order. #JustOrderTheDamnCoffee or risk aggravating everyone else in line who, like you, wants their drink ASAP.

2. Don't hate on us for having a coffee order ready and waiting for one of our regulars when they get up to the register. That's the sign of a good barista! (And a well run establishment.)

1. Help yourself to the soy milk, just don't go walking off with the container! Same goes for the half n' half, whole, and skim milk. At one place, we had a guy who on a regular basis, would grab the soy milk and disappear with it. Not sure how he could afford a $3.50 coffee, but NOT his own container of soy milk? Or was he just making up for the price of the coffee?' (File this one under we'll never really know. Oh yeah, and it's frigging tacky.)


Ciao For Now,

Patty J


Photo Credits: Photo courtesy of the PattyJDotCom Instagram